Saturday, March 22, 2014

People. What a bunch of bastards.

This morning Noodles and I were walking down the street, minding our own business, chatting away. Then some bruiser sitting on a motorcycle outside a shop said loudly as we passed him, 'Why don't you get a cowbell to go with that stupid ring in your nose, you stupid bitch.' Noodles has a septum piercing.

Now, at first I didn't realise he was speaking to us and I didn't notice Noodles suddenly go quiet and her head drop. Then when I started to parse what he had said I remembered the word 'cow' and assumed he had been talking to me, for I am somewhat the chunker. So as I started to get pissed off about that, I finally made the connection and realised he had been speaking to Noodles. However, even though mere seconds had gone by, we were well past him by the time it finally clicked in my head what had happened. I said, 'Was that directed at you?' and she said 'Yes', quietly. I wanted to go back and give him an earful, but she wouldn't let me. So we kept walking. And she was crushed. Her previously good mood was gone, her face was sullen, and she looked like she was making a concerted effort to not cry. Pleasant walk over. A lovely kind girl who would never dream of deliberately hurting someone else's feelings made to feel like a piece of shit because of a perfectly harmless fashion choice.

I felt - and still do feel hours later - sad and furious. What kind of fucking arsehole yells abuse at a teenage girl walking past just minding her own business? What kind of grown man gets some sort of entertainment out of making a young woman feel small and ruining her day? It's bad enough when grown women can't walk the street without getting yelled at by random strangers, but who is so much of a fucking prick that picking on a teenage girl seems like a good idea?

She seems okay now, but I know she's still thinking about it. And for that I hope that fucker falls off his bike and breaks both legs.


5 comments:

  1. I'm sorry Noodles had to go through that, street harassment is no joke, and it's an issue that really gets me riled up. I remember being a teenager, already feeling awkward in my skin, getting literally screamed at from moving vehicles about my "nice tits"...nothing about it felt nice...it felt more like hatred, utter venom, a verbal assault, like they were trying to remind me that even though I was walking around like I was free, they were the ones that ruled the road and they were going to be damn sure to put me in my place. I remember walking downtown after work one day years ago and getting catcalled probably half a dozen times, over and over and over. I was waiting for a ride and I ended hiding behind something, crying, just wanting to disappear. Maybe that's what they wanted. Funny that some big burly biker is going to sit there and pick on a young woman for her looks, too. It's so cowardly and pathetic. It's probably because you guys were talking and not paying attention to him, and he decided to act out like a big baby. Don't even get me started on men who command random women to smile. I know she's crushed right now and feeling vulnerable and violated, but I hope she comes to understand that it's SO not about her, that there's something seriously wrong with the world, but not her.

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    1. It's pretty disgusting that in 2014 people (and let's be real, mostly women) are still subjected to unsolicited comment when they are out and about minding their own business. Noodles told me once that she and her friends always get shouted at from guys in cars so often they just think it's a normal thing.

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    2. That's the insidious thing about it, that it becomes commonplace enough that it's either laughed off and accepted as "boys will be boys" or even worse, that women should just take it as a compliment, smile, and "keep sweet." It seems like the more advances women make in society at large, the more virulent the street harassment gets to kind of push them back down. I'm sure many people don't consider it a real issue and say it's just the way things are, but it truly does warrant deeper analysis. Like any other assault, it's about power. From the really nasty, hatred-filled barrages to the seemingly harmless catcalls and "you'd be so pretty if you smiled, baby" type comments-it all combines to really illustrate a very backward-facing view of women's worth and value.
      Sure, it's not the same as being gang raped and murdered on a bus like that woman in India for daring to go to a movie at night-but that doesn't mean it's not a problem. Ok, rant over. I just feel bad she had to deal with that, even more that she's starting to internalize it as business as usual.

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  2. I mean arseholes, so mad I can't even spell!

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  3. What an absolute DICK. I wonder how he'd feel if that was directed at his daughter (assuming any woman would bother breeding with him?) or his mother?

    I wish there was some way you could shame him and make him realise how hurtful words can be. He's probably puffed it all up to his equally burly leather pals about how super manly he was and how he put that girl back in her place.

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