Michelle wrote a post the other say having a bit of a rant about judgements from people when you tell them you're a beauty blogger. I love a good rant, and she has a valid point (though speaking personally I have to admit I detest the term 'beauty blogger' and never, ever use it to refer to myself). If I'm ever in a position of having to explain this blogging thing, the conversation is usually something like:
However, I've noticed lately that there's a bit of an all-round trend toward intolerance of other people's hobbies, regardless of what they are (and full disclosure, I side-eyed Harriet Archer when she delved into scrapbooking). I attend regular work-related meetings with a woman who prides herself on not owning a TV, not having internet, and not having the vaguest idea of anything related to pop culture. In the first few minutes when everyone is shooting the breeze waiting for the stragglers to turn up, conversation inevitably turns to trivial things like television, especially if there's some big thing that everyone's watching (more likely to be Masterchef than Game of Thrones with this crowd). This woman literally gets angered by people talking about these sorts of things, because she has no interest and can't relate to any of it. (I have no interest in Masterchef either, but I just tune out of the conversation.) Yet, at the end of the meetings when the discussion turns to 'what's everyone doing on the weekend', she will happily hold forth for 10 minutes about her weird, obscure hobbies that only about 5 people in the entire world have even the most passing interest in. She likes some odd stuff, and if that makes her happy, good on her. If I have to sit there and listen to her bang on about it, I'm not that thrilled, but I'm polite and I understand that we live in a society (as a wise man once said), and these are the things one does when one is forced to interact with people they wouldn't normally cross paths with. On the other hand, she seems to be insulted if anyone dares to spend a minute or so talking about something she doesn't like, and makes it quite clear that she disapproves.
I was listening to a podcast yesterday where two guys were talking about a segment on one of those chat shows (The View, The Talk, whatevs) in which several older women and a middle-aged guy were sitting around talking about how men over 30 playing video games were weird. Again, this is the same sort of thing - people who don't have any interest in, or understanding of, video games looking down their noses at people who do enjoy them. These guys are avid gamers and devote a lot of their podcast to the discussion of various game-oriented topics, and one of them is in his mid-30s while the other is only a few years younger. Not surprisingly, they took great offence to a bunch of non-gamers judging them, and as they pointed out, it's no more weird than men in their 30s seeing a couple of movies a week, or watching a few hours of TV, or going to watch a football game.
I think it's human nature to judge other people and feel superior to them, and in most cases we can only do that by picking at trivial things like what hobbies they enjoy. I know I'm guilty of it (adults reading Harry Potter, people who like car races, the above-mentioned scrapbookers), but really - if they're not doing any harm, what business is it of mine how anyone else chooses to entertain themselves and spend their money?
Challenge: think about the people you judge who are enjoying totally harmless activities that have no effect on you, and make an effort to change that thinking. You'll be a better person for it.
"You have a blog? What's it about?"
"Oh, you know... makeup and shit. Nothing you'd be interested in..." and trailing away into an embarrassed mumble.I don't deliberately keep it a secret, but I don't go out of my way to tell people either. On the few occasions I have, I've regretted it, because the other person has either been completely disinterested and doesn't even have the manners to say, "Oh, how nice for you!" or words to that effect, or they look at me like I'm crazy, which I think is what Michelle is complaining about, and (I would venture to guess) exactly what most of the people reading this have experienced. I feel like I'm being looked down on for what I choose to spend my money on.
However, I've noticed lately that there's a bit of an all-round trend toward intolerance of other people's hobbies, regardless of what they are (and full disclosure, I side-eyed Harriet Archer when she delved into scrapbooking). I attend regular work-related meetings with a woman who prides herself on not owning a TV, not having internet, and not having the vaguest idea of anything related to pop culture. In the first few minutes when everyone is shooting the breeze waiting for the stragglers to turn up, conversation inevitably turns to trivial things like television, especially if there's some big thing that everyone's watching (more likely to be Masterchef than Game of Thrones with this crowd). This woman literally gets angered by people talking about these sorts of things, because she has no interest and can't relate to any of it. (I have no interest in Masterchef either, but I just tune out of the conversation.) Yet, at the end of the meetings when the discussion turns to 'what's everyone doing on the weekend', she will happily hold forth for 10 minutes about her weird, obscure hobbies that only about 5 people in the entire world have even the most passing interest in. She likes some odd stuff, and if that makes her happy, good on her. If I have to sit there and listen to her bang on about it, I'm not that thrilled, but I'm polite and I understand that we live in a society (as a wise man once said), and these are the things one does when one is forced to interact with people they wouldn't normally cross paths with. On the other hand, she seems to be insulted if anyone dares to spend a minute or so talking about something she doesn't like, and makes it quite clear that she disapproves.
I was listening to a podcast yesterday where two guys were talking about a segment on one of those chat shows (The View, The Talk, whatevs) in which several older women and a middle-aged guy were sitting around talking about how men over 30 playing video games were weird. Again, this is the same sort of thing - people who don't have any interest in, or understanding of, video games looking down their noses at people who do enjoy them. These guys are avid gamers and devote a lot of their podcast to the discussion of various game-oriented topics, and one of them is in his mid-30s while the other is only a few years younger. Not surprisingly, they took great offence to a bunch of non-gamers judging them, and as they pointed out, it's no more weird than men in their 30s seeing a couple of movies a week, or watching a few hours of TV, or going to watch a football game.
I think it's human nature to judge other people and feel superior to them, and in most cases we can only do that by picking at trivial things like what hobbies they enjoy. I know I'm guilty of it (adults reading Harry Potter, people who like car races, the above-mentioned scrapbookers), but really - if they're not doing any harm, what business is it of mine how anyone else chooses to entertain themselves and spend their money?
Challenge: think about the people you judge who are enjoying totally harmless activities that have no effect on you, and make an effort to change that thinking. You'll be a better person for it.
Similar to this, is the very common response to people's obsessions - "Somebody's got too much time on their hands!" Well, you know what? I think people who watch every AFL match every week have too much time on their hands, but if it floats their boat - good on them!
ReplyDeleteYes! I have had people say that to me before when I've talked about watching a TV season over a couple of days or something. How is that any less valid than spending a Sunday afternoon in a pub beer garden drinking beer and watching football?
DeleteI love that comment!!! No, I don't have too much time on my hands. i just spend it in a very different way to you. The end.
DeleteI approve of this. I also have a lady at work who has an iron-hard refusal to accept that her hobbies/interests are not universally more interesting than anyone else and thus will talk and great and involved length about the types of air conditioners her partner installs. And thats fine, and all, but I have never once heard her ask someone else about a.) themselves, as in "how are you?" b.) their projects, as in "how is that crosssstitch going?" or c.) their opinion. She's a bitter shrew of a woman with zero tolerance for anyone else.
ReplyDeleteAnd a special talent for inspiring rants, apparently. This was all a roundabout way of saying that I agree. And certainly in my household, with Luke's room full of Star Wars figures and my shelves full of fantasy books we appreciate that whatever gets you through your spare time is worth doing. Providing there's no animal sacrifice involved.
Ugh. I'm noticing more and more lately that a lot of people seem to have lost that skill of pretending to take interest in anyone else and their goings on, even in the most superficial way. And it's obviously not the internet to blame because I see it more often in those older "YOUNG PEOPLE AND THEIR NEW FANGLED GADGETS" folk. It's like they feel they have the right to be as much of an arse as they want because they've been on the earth for 50+ years.
DeleteMy dad is like that - I literally stopped bothering to try having actual conversations with him because if I broached a subject he didn't have a personal interest in, he would just interrupt and change the subject. SO FUCKING RUDE.
I never refer to myself as a 'blogger' where possible as it just sounds like a euphemism for 'wanker'. I'd rather say "I have a blog."
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I don't really tell anyone I know about my blog and I prefer it that way. Then I can be open and honest and I don't have to justify anything I've written for any reason. i answer to me. However I'll admit I also kind of perceive blogging to be nerdy in some way, even though i'm not a nerd and my mum says I'm cool.
I think there's a bit of exclusionism amongst some groups of bloggers at times too. like if you like fashion you can't like sport and vice versa.
Great post Dee and something to think on.
I think you're on to something there - referring to myself as a blogger just makes me feel like a wanker.
DeleteI think you're cool. So you've got me and your mum in the stands cheering you on.
Excellent post!
ReplyDeleteI actually know a woman who prides herself on how she's cut off from pop culture (no TV, internet, etc). Going only by the degrees of separation Adelaide supposedly has, we could be talking about the same person. But I'm not one to put a limit on the number of nutbags out there (I kid, this is all about accepting each other and our quirky hobbies).
I call myself a beauty blogger. I don't shout it from mountaintops, but if it comes up I'll be that wanker. I'm not about to pretend I'm 'reclaiming' the name 'beauty blogger' in some feminazi way, but I don't mind labelling myself. My blog does not define me. I purposefully chose to keep it a single-subject outlet, so on the occasion I do post a rant, I do through the lens of my beauty blogging self. (:
As a feminazi, I hold with the right for anyone to call themselves anything they want, regardless of whether or not I'd personally use the term.
DeleteHaha you're not a wanker Michelle!
DeleteFeminazis unite!
DeleteI say "I write for a website." if pushed, I go, "oh, you know - cosmetics and skincare and stuff." 99% of the time, thats enough for people to switch off. I avoid the "blogger" word as much as possible, but I've never felt like I've been looked down on (or sideways at) because of the site. Except my family. My mother doesn't understand how it works and my sisters think I'm a crazy narcissist.
ReplyDeleteYes, I don't know why but I really don't like the word "blogger".
DeletePreach! My office is full of runners, and this bores me very much, but I still nod and smile and make sure to ask how people's runs/races were on the weekend. Same for my friend's play-by-play of her boyfriend's new haircut. It's only polite and the subject will change to a common interest soon enough.
ReplyDeleteHowever I refuse to stop judging my crazy former housemate who love 2 and a Half Men and would watch the same DVD every weekend on repeat in the background and not let anyone else use the tv. Shit's terrible. This is my one judge-y thing and I stand by it.
I tell people I'm a beauty blogger, but only if I've met them a few times and it's clear we will be hanging out regularly, or if they are also a beauty blogger. I've learnt to stick to this after having someone at work ask why I'm so vain after telling her :/
Oooooh, that one might actually warrant an exception. Though I have seen way more 2.5 Men episodes than any normal person should myself.
DeleteSo far, I've been quite lucky with friends who know about the blog. Saying that one of my colleagues was so obviously judgmental, not about the fact that I have a blog but its contents, that I don't share at work. 'You went to uni, what is so interesting about lipstick?' attitude!
ReplyDeleteI agree with all the other comments, it's a hobby and I don't judge the people who choose to spend their week end watching rugby so why should they judge me??
The condescending attitude of people about makeup is a bit ridiculous. Most women wear makeup at some point in their lives - how is it any different to having various degrees of interest in fashion (regardless of education or intellect)?
DeleteSo if you're a smart and/or educated person you basically have to sit around all day thinking about politics or neuroscience...
I judge people who are fans of reality tv, tabloid, Kim Kardashian, Snooki etc. I also judge people who run their lives based on which overpaid player of what shaped ball passed or failed a piss test.
ReplyDeleteWell, to be fair that's exactly the point I'm making in my post - that we are all judging other people for what we consider to be lowbrow activities.
DeleteOn the other hand, I don't consider most reality TV to be harmless, so I don't know which way I stand on that one...
I appreciate that people have different interests and hobbies, I guess I generally find it inspiring when people are passionate about whatever it is that floats their boat.
ReplyDeleteHERE HERE!
DeleteWhatever lights your candle, baby!
Delete