WTF, Bellabox?

I only have myself to blame for the outcome of this saga. A few weeks ago I reorganised all my makeup and I was sitting up in bed one night watching my stories and looking at the makeup storage and thinking, "You know what's really good for makeup storage? Bellaboxes." As in the actual cardboard box. The one that looks like this.

Image credit: Gloss Queen

Now, a normal person would just go to Kmart or Target or even The Reject Shop and find some kind of storage containers that are approximately the same size and buy a few of them. I am not that normal person. My late night great idea (possibly after a few white wine spritzers...) was to sign up for Bellabox. $15 a month - just to get the box. I rationalised it by telling myself that I will probably end up using a lot of the stuff they send out - hand creams, shampoos, etc. And occasionally (ha) I might actually discover a gem. Regardless, I am a frivolous person by nature and a $15 monthly outlay seemed like not a big deal to me.

So. I sign up, they take the money from my card, and then I wait. And wait. And wait. Until finally today - October 1 - I receive my September Bellabox. The hold up? Cleo.

Apparently they were waiting on the printing of October's issue of Cleo so it could be included. I think I can confidently say that anyone likely to read Cleo would have already bought that issue, and anyone who hasn't is not likely to be swayed by one freebie. Certainly not me.

And do you notice what's not there, guys? What is missing....? Hmmm... could it be..... THE BOX? Yes, indeed. $15 to get the bloody box and there's no bloody box!

I posted this picture on my Instagram with a comment "What is this Melbourne Show lucky dip bag of crap that is this month's Bellabox?" and I stand by that. What a pile of junk. This is the company that claims you will "get 5 luxury Beauty products in a curated box". So let's have a look at these "luxury" beauty products, shall we?

Lady Jayne Tail Comb
This just screams filler. Cheap, plastic, made in China comb I could probably get for $1.50 at The Reject Shop.

Schick Hydro Silk Razor
If you're just going to throw supermarket products in there, a toilet duck would have been more useful.

Manicare Glam Eyes Lashes
Again, filler. Yes, they're technically a 'beauty product', but I've seen lashes in these beauty boxes tons of times. Try something new, people. 

Elegant Touch Envy Wraps Tie Dye
TIE DYE. Seriously? I know some people like this kind of thing, but I think they're pointless junk. Noodles will probably enjoy playing with them but I doubt she'd like the colour (who would?).

asap Mineral Lip Pencil
Finally, an actual legit beauty product. It's a boring neutral/rose coloured pencil, but I will probably actually use this, so it gets a thumbs up.

Garnier Ambre Solaire Natural Bronzer
What the hell is it with these boxes and fake tanning products. Noodles will like this.

Montagne Jennesse Blemish Mud Mask
This one actually made me angry, in as much as one can get angry about something so stupid. This is a trial size. The full size is about $4 in Priceline. You couldn't just throw in the full size, Bellabox? Really???

Now, let's look at those 'luxury' brands.
Manicare? Nope.
Lady Jayne? Nope.
Garnier? Nope.
Schick? Hell no!
Montagne Jennesse? Nope.
Elegant Touch? Nope.

That leaves asap as the only one that gets anywhere near 'luxury' and even that's questionable.

The last time I bothered with the monthly beauty boxes I was similarly unimpressed. In conclusion, I am an idiot, I have a bunch of new crap in my bathroom drawer and I didn't even get my box. FML.