Mother's Day 2012

I don't really consider myself 'a parent' in the way a lot of people do - as something that defines me. I consider myself a person who has a kid. I never had any desire for a kid, and I never set out to deliberately have one. When I was pregnant I did not go to classes, when I had her I did not go to mothers' groups or playdates. I can think of few things worse than being stuck with a group of parents who just bang on endlessly about their kids. I can't stop myself from rolling my eyes at anyone who has any kind of 'parenting philosophy' and I would definitely be considered a bad mother by those crunchy weirdos who congregate in parenting groups online to point fingers and dish out judgement.

I don't dislike children as such, but they make me uncomfortable and I don't usually enjoy being around them (though admittedly that's probably more to do with not wanting to be around their parents - they make me even more uncomfortable). The few whose company I have enjoyed tend to be the precocious, socially adept types who will chat away happily to adults about normal things.

Having said that, my daughter Noodles is my favourite person, and not merely because she's my daughter. She's funny, clever, kind and I genuinely enjoy her company. We have a million things in common and a bunch of in jokes and I can't take much credit for how she turned out, unless going out of your way to avoid playing Mouse Trap for years counts as quality parenting.

She also knows me very well, and is great at getting me presents that I love. She knows of my fondness for daggy, inoffensive Chemist Warehouse perfumes, and what kind of dangly earrings I like as opposed to what kind of dangly earrings I don't like. She knows I like rings but not necklaces, body lotion but not body scrub, 60s kitsch but not 70s kitsch. And she also knows that I detest store-bought greeting cards (I just consider them pointless and wasteful).

As usual, Noodles came up trumps on Mother's Day. Chemist Warehouse perfume - check (love this one, it takes me back to the 80s). Handmade card - check. Pancakes for breakfast - check.

Perfect.